Three weeks from today, our son will be delivered by C-section. I am sure this is the right thing for me/us, but it still feels vaguely weird. There is something mystical about birthdays and the randomness of labor beginning naturally. Yet here I am selecting my child's birthday. Not even selecting, but acquiescing to the doctor's desired date. I would rather deliver on the 22nd or 29th (both meaningful birthdays in our family) but those days are Saturdays and the docs don't do C's on weekends (apart from emergencies).
It's just kinda weird.
It feels different this time. Loo's C-section was an emergency bail-out after 30ish hours of hard labor. By then I was all, do anything you want, just get this baby out of me without me pushing anymore. Once we got to the hospital, the surgery was performed quickly and efficiently and we were resting/recovering within an hour. I was sore for 2-3 days but that's what oxycodone is for. I laid in bed cuddling my newborn, in a painkiller-induced glow. Not too bad, that.
This time though, it's my choice. I'll go into surgery fully cognizant that it's a SURGERY. I have more time to think (time to think seems to be all I have at the moment) and get fearful about it. I'm not reconsidering--I definitely don't want to go through a protracted labor only to end up having a C-section anyway. Which I'm convinced is what would happen if I tried to deliver normally.
So C-section it is.
Three weeks to see his face. I can't wait to see him.