Is it evil of me to be secretly pleased that E. gets just as worn out watching Loo as I do?
Thanks, I didn't think so either.
Loo is entranced by my cell-phone. I dread receiving or making calls with him around. Once he has been alerted to the phone's presence, I cannot escape his determination to possess it.
He loves the camera feature so I use it to stall him--if I take his picture and show it to him, I can buy about ten seconds before he has a major freak-out that I don't want to give him my phone. He loves to see his own picture. I swear to you the little bugger poses!
Here's what I call the Boohbah Gallery--camera-phone snapshots I've taken at Boohbah's "request."
Hmmmm. Wonder why I'm so tired?
6:05 am. Awake to sound of tiny voice saying: "Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah?"
6:10 am. Groggily thank the gods for another hour of sleep as E. gets up and takes Loo downstairs for breakfast.
7:30. Even more groggily, curse the gods when awakened by E. and Loo standing by my bedside, E. to hand-off Loo and Loo to attack me for his first breast-feeding of the day.
7:31. Breast-feed the monster while half-asleep, hoping against hope he'll take a long time and then perhaps fall asleep again so I can sleep longer.
7:36. Loo stops nursing, attempts acrobatic manoever off bed that requires my full supervisory attention. It is clear he will not be napping any time soon. Must now forsake the dream of more sleep. Get up and face the day.
7:37-8:30. Fruitlessly hope Loo will play by himself so I can climb back into bed and watch from there. No go. Sleepily read child-proffered board books, play "Wakka-wakka" on demand, show Loo cartoons on the computer. Watch forlornly as my "backup" (E.) readies himself to walk out the door.
8:31. Offer to drive E. to work if he'll buy me breakfast through the Starbucks drive-thru. Ulterior motive: taking Loo to playground so as to wear out for morning nap.
8:40. Drive E. to work.
8:55. Arrive playground. Marvel that I am even awake at this hour, much less dressed (?) and at a playground with my child.
9:00-10:30. Tag after Loo as he crawls around exploring and eating small rocks and leaves. Swing him in the swings. Count minutes until morning nap.
10:35. Carry Loo to car, strap in and head home to put him down for nap.
10:37. Drive. Observe sleepy Loo in rearview mirror. Race against drooping eyelids begins. Drive more frantically, watch eyelids in rearview, calculate how many minutes I have to get him home (no break for me if he sleeps in the car.)
10:38. Lose eyelids race. Curse the gods. Text-message E: "Lunch at 11?"
10:39-11:00. Drive to and park at E.'s work. Read in car while Loo sleeps in backseat (consolation prize).
11:00. E. arrives to join me.
11:00-11:10. Drive to restaurant.
11:10-11:15. Wake Loo, gather ammunition (toys and other distractions) and prepare to enter restaurant. Hope for best.
11:15-11:50. Have nice lunch with Loo and E. Leave large tip to apologize for huge mess under highchair.
11:55. Drive E. back to work. Drop off, go on to Babies R Us to buy Loo socks and warm pajamas.
12:15. Arrive Babies R Us. Place Loo in shopping cart. Hope for best.
12:18. Loo grabs items off racks as we pass. Select some toy and attempt to interest him in it (so as to retain him in shopping cart while I shop).
12:19. Loo drops toy, attempts to climb out of cart. Pick up toy, hand back.
12:19:11. Give up. Unstrap Loo and carry him on hip while also manoevering shopping cart.
12:20. Loo wriggles to indicate he wants down on the floor. Acquiesce.
12:20-12:35. Follow Loo around and help steer as he pushes shopping cart through store. Sweetly return knowing smiles from other parents.
12:36. Loo crashes cart in furniture department. Pick him up and place him in floor-model crib. With peripheral vision, keep eye on him playing there. Quickly shop nearby racks for needed items.
12:38. Remove Loo from crib and place on floor. Loo crawls to crib's matching dresser/changing table and tests all drawers and doors. With peripheral vision, keep eye on him playing there. Quickly shop nearby racks for needed items.
12:40. Chase after Loo who has taken off into infant clothing dept and is pulling baby hair accesories off rack. Allow him to continue, rationalizing that it's a freakin' baby store and they should be used to endless reshelving of floor-level items. Besides, he's happy and I need something 10 feet away.
12:41. Return. Pick up Destructo-Loo and place in shopping cart. Attempt to distract him into playing with the items I've selected, so I can look through the pajamas.
12:43. Loo loses interest in shopping cart items and begins to pull pajamas off racks and screams when I stop him. Time to move.
12:44. Investigate toddler toy dept. Discover Truly Frightening Baby Product #297, grab cell-phone camera and document.
12:46. Loo melts down. Mentally weigh the possibilty of grabbing last few items anyway. Meltdown continues, intensifies. Abort mission and check out.
12:53. Leave Babies R Us. Contemplate what the hell to do with the rest of the day. Realize with excruciating clarity that 4.5 hours remain before E. comes home.
12:54. Decide to go home. Hope that Loo's fussiness heralds an oncoming nap.
1:15. Arrive home. Attempt to engage Loo in self-entertainment with toys so I can check e-mail and make some phone calls.
1:16. Loo crawls over and tries to reboot the computer.
1:16:13. Disallow. Pick up kicking and screaming Loo and attempt to redirect to another object.
1:16:20. Loo crawls over and tries to grab the keyboard.
1:16:22. Disallow. Pick up kicking and screaming Loo. Presume he is ready for a nap. Decide to chance a breast-feeding for the big payoff (we are weaning and I'm trying to only breastfeed before naps and bedtime).
1:23. Loo pulls off breast and attempts to slide down off the bed, signaling that he wants to play. Suddenly Not Sleepy. I have been punked. Resist urge to toss Loo through window.
1:24-2:00. Attempt to work on computer/make phone calls while fending off meddlesome advances of small child.
2:00. Give up in frustration. Take Loo downstairs for snack.
2:00-2:15. Feed Loo snack. Re-attach bib he rips off endless times. Resist urge to force-feed him said bib after about the 5th time. Instead say sweetly but firmly, "No, leave it on Loo."
2:16. Snack over. Free Loo from bib and highchair. Clean up destruction.
2:20-3:30. Attempt to get us ready to leave house again for grocery store. Countless interruptions/interventions as Loo "gets into stuff".
3:30. Abandon trip to grocery store. Now officially brain-dead. Concentrate on survival for next two hours.
3:30-5:30. These two hours last about a day. Just get through them, then blot them from memory.
5:30. E. walks through door. SALVATION.
Next day: Repeat All.
Check out what I found at Babies R Us yesterday.
On first glance, looks normal enough (if a bit cheesy):
Your first big clue is the name. Check it:
My little Good Girl. As if that is not frightening enough, look what you get when you poke her lower abdomen!
Please tell me I am not the only one frightened by this.
Now before any Christians or other prayer-enthusiastic folk get on me, I am not against prayer. I did plenty of it in my spiritual days. I am against the gross commercialization of religious elements and artifacts however. This is something that turns me way, way off mainstream Christianity.
I am sure there's a market for it, otherwise it wouldn't be on the shelf at BrU, right? but ugh! that's just it. It was on the shelf at BrU. Next to Elmo and the like.
I just hate the message. "Good Girls pray!" I'm sorry but that just makes my skin crawl. Also, if you poke me in the lower abdomen, what will come out of my mouth will be far from the Lord's Prayer. I must not be a "Good Girl."
Boohbah showed his enthusiasm by picking the "Press here for prayer" sticker off and eating it. That's my boy!!
Loo started walking this week!
Up until now, he's just been standing on his own and getting better at it every day. Then he started taking two or three steps, over and over again all day. Now he's up to ten or fifteen!
I want to encourage him and totally not pressure him so I haven't gotten the camera to capture it. Gimme a day or so while he enjoys this new skill and then I'll get some vids of him. He looks soooooooo cute! He walks with this huge silly grin on his face because he knows he's doing something special. When he's done (he doesn't fall so much as get scared and squat down) many times he'll clap his hands at us.
He is really growing up, this little Loo.
Looks like the Loo family will increase by one sometime in May. This is earlier than we'd planned but we're very happy. This is now the second baby that we didn't try to make, leading me to conclude that we're rather dangerous. Either that or it's just in the stars for us to have our little family now. Since I am considered "of advanced maternal age" and we're not getting any younger, this actually works OK for us.
I'll be the first to admit that I'm not thinking rationally. At all. I'm thinking of teensy clothes and toes and cooing strangers in restaurants. Of babies who stay where you put them. I'm not thinking of endless sleepless nights or being trapped at home or not showering for days. Or of C-section recovery (I am thinking of pain medication though).
I think I'll stay right here in my rose-colored delusion. Reality will hit soon enough, right?
Pregnancy. Having to pee all the time. Not being able to comfortably sleep. Waddling. Cankles. Large pants. Swollen feet. All this will soon be mine.
This also means that realistically, it will be another 2 years (if at all) before I can hope to fit back into the hottie clothes from my pre-child life. I really should just jettison them, but I keep hoping...maybe I can get that size 6 figure back (yeah right).
On the other hand I'm sort of glad I didn't kill myself this past year, trying to get back in shape. I'd just be ruining it all right now. And truthfully I am a little worried about weight gain, since I'm starting this pregnancy 40 pounds heavier than the last one. I'm really scared I'll get just fucking huge. I need to join a gym and get some exercise throughout this pregnancy.
I've got a lot on my mind RE having a second child. How Loo will react. How much more work it could be. Who exactly is growing in my belly? Boy or Girl? (Twins? Shudder!)
I'll keep you posted.
Jenna Mammina is an excellent vocalist. I've seen her before and I was impressed. So I jumped at the chance to see her again. I went alone because we procrastinated getting a sitter and it was just easier anyway for E. to stay home with Loo.
I enjoyed the show but I got bored. Maybe all her songs sounded too much alike. Maybe it was the intense distraction I experienced cutting her hair in my mind. (Her hairstyle was all wrong for her face.) She'd sing, "tell me lies, but hold me tight" and in my head I'd hear "...jaw length...45 degree angle..." I was so dying to cut her hair.
So that was distracting. Also they tried to record her second set and ironically, started having all these sound problems. Ironic because the first set was perfect.
In the middle of the second set, while mentally cutting her hair I started thinking "hmmm. Mississippi Pizza is still open...I bet they still have some slices left..." and with that, I skipped out between songs and went down the street to have pizza. By myself. In peace. No kid-wrangling. They were playing old 70's funk and the girl behind the counter gave me four slices for the price of two. I even got to read a little bit.
Honestly? Better than the concert.
I wonder what's going on with me musically. I also got bored at the Patty Griffin show I went to in July. And I LOVE Patty Griffin. Same thing though, I found myself tuning out halfway. Maybe it's time for some new music for MamaLoo.
We are embarking on a kitchen remodel in a couple weeks. I can hardly wait until it's finished--I think I will just writhe on the floor in ecstacy when it is--but until then, purchasing the components is getting me really excited.
This mutha is a farm sink, apron-front style. It is 30" x 22", 8 5/8 " deep. Our current sink is a toilet compared to this baby, which we ordered tonight. I'm all hot and bothered!
We are also putting in a dishwasher, bitches! Because that's right, we currently don't have one. For the last year, we've been absolute fucking slaves to our dirty dishes. Between our piddly-ass sink and not having a dishwasher and, um, having a small child, it's just a constant festival of dirty dishes around here. What with my cleanliness fetish, no wonder I'm just a few inches shy of 'round the bend on many days. I've learned to put on virtual blinders, I just don't look and I don't think about it. Kind of like when you eat a hot dog.
I ask you, what would a new sink and dishwasher be without a garbage disposal? Gotta have that.
Not to mention our current kitchen cabinets have LEAD FUCKING PAINT on them, which is slowly poisoning Loo (more on that later). Those fuckers are coming out and we're getting new ones custom built.
Our butcher block countertop has been ruined by all the water runoff generated by manually washing the equivalent of three dishwasher loads of dishes per day, by hand. What idiots would install a shitty single stainless steel sink in a butcher block countertop--no dishwasher? Ah, that would be the former owners of our house. Thanks guys!!
So we're getting a new countertop too. That part is undecided but we're leaning towards tile.
Demolishing our current counter/cabinet setup is going to ruin the tile backsplash we have now, so we're replacing that baby too.
And since we're getting all up ins anyway, we're gonna have halogen under-cabinet lights installed underneath our current upper cabinets (which are staying). On a dimmer switch, natch. Oh yeah.
I am a big usability freak, and even more than the great aesthetic value of this project, I'm hyperventilating over the functionality that will be ours very soon.
When the dishwasher, sink, cabinets, countertop and under-cabinet lights are all installed and functional, I think I will lick them all for at least an hour.
Anyone gots any remedies for insomnia? I'm a chronic sufferer and right now it's reeeeeeeeeeallly bad.
All the "visualization, progressive relaxation, try not to think too much, eat something carb-y, get up and do something boring instead of just lay there" methods are failing me. End result: I finally get to sleep somewhere between 4 and 5 these days. That's AM. SUX.
All suggestions welcomed.
Just so you know, my life is not all cuteness and thrilling milestones. No, not at all. Looking at all these adorable pictures I suppose one might think so. Just know, dear reader, that I'm pretty much giving you the "best of" but honey, there is plenty of "worst of".
You know, like this:
Some bit got flipped when Loo turned one. Like seriously, almost the day of. I really thought I'd have at least another year before the tantrums started. Now I am beginning to fear the twos, and the threes, if the ones are this bad already!
Some days I want to eject this adorable kid through the nearest window. Am I going to? No. But do I want to? Oh yes.
Sleep deprivation doesn't help, nor does staying in the house all day. It really helps to get out. Unfortunately getting out can be a herculean task when the kid's in one of "those moods". Or I am. God help us if both of us are.
I think I haven't been writing about this side of things for a while now because frankly, until about six weeks ago I'd been having such rough days that if I'd honestly shared my feelings at that time, I might have scared some of you. I know they're only feelings, but still. Feelings can really knock you on your ass sometimes.
I admire other parents who tell it like it is. Sometimes I feel that my "is" is too terrible to tell, so I hold it in. But for some reason I felt like saying this today. If you have small children, or have had, I'm sure you understand. There are some real personal challenges packed into the parenting experience. Some days I handle them well, some days I feel like I'll fray and fray until only threads are left. Is this a universal parenting experience? Somehow I think it is.