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Rob Merola

When I got married, I thought that required a lot of me. I always enjoyed being single and the freedoms that allowed, so getting married was an adjustment. Frankly, the first year my wife and I really struggled.

But that was nothing compared to having kids!

Sort of as a corrolary to that, I often say that having kids is a greater joy than I ever expected, but also at times a source of heart break greater than I ever would've thought possible.

CityMama

Wow. You couldn't have hit the nail any more on the head with this statement:

I had to think about it for a while. And after a lot of thought, the best way I can say it is, I thought that motherhood would be ME, plus a child. (does that make sense?) I always envisioned myself exactly as I was as a single, individual woman. Except that I would have a child, and I would be a mother. The child would be in (an?) addition to me.

I didn't plan on any subtraction or division happening to me. I didn't expect that there would need to be soooooo much compromise of ME and my own personal ways.

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The whole concept of "if mama's not happy ain't nobody happy" is more than a cliché, it's the truth. And I think a lot of mamas forget that. I need to put my needs first sometimes and that's just the way it is. It is a way that I reclaim a little bit of ME.

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