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Rob Merola

When I got married, I thought that required a lot of me. I always enjoyed being single and the freedoms that allowed, so getting married was an adjustment. Frankly, the first year my wife and I really struggled.

But that was nothing compared to having kids!

Sort of as a corrolary to that, I often say that having kids is a greater joy than I ever expected, but also at times a source of heart break greater than I ever would've thought possible.


Wow. You couldn't have hit the nail any more on the head with this statement:

I had to think about it for a while. And after a lot of thought, the best way I can say it is, I thought that motherhood would be ME, plus a child. (does that make sense?) I always envisioned myself exactly as I was as a single, individual woman. Except that I would have a child, and I would be a mother. The child would be in (an?) addition to me.

I didn't plan on any subtraction or division happening to me. I didn't expect that there would need to be soooooo much compromise of ME and my own personal ways.


The whole concept of "if mama's not happy ain't nobody happy" is more than a cliché, it's the truth. And I think a lot of mamas forget that. I need to put my needs first sometimes and that's just the way it is. It is a way that I reclaim a little bit of ME.

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