This is sorta unrelated to everything else posted recently, but it's been on my mind lately so here goes.
I just love E.
Sometimes we'll be doing something ordinary, like watching a movie or strolling Loo down the street, and E. will offhandedly say something that perfectly reveals who he is inside, throwing into sharp relief how perfectly his insides match my insides. It's as if, without even knowing it, he reaches in and strikes a special chord within me that I keep in my heart for myself alone. Somehow E. is able to reach it there, and not only reach it, but make it sing. Best of all, he doesn't even know it.
In these moments I always silently, internally stop and look at him and just marvel within myself. These moments PROVE to me that E. is my mate, the one I was always looking for.
I think these little provings mean so much to me because I had a difficult time accepting that I'd found my someone. Finding that person meant the end of life as I knew it and that was scary. Even as I fell in love, I found myself fighting to preserve my alone-life. It was what I'd known for so long and it was hard to let go of it.
I treasure these glimpses into E.'s soul because to me they are little nails in the coffin of my aloneness. My old life, alone, is inside that coffin. My life with E., and now Loo, is here, now, alive.
I could fill this page with wonderful things about E., but I think the most wonderful of all is that he's comfortable with me, comfortable enough to let all the other wonderful things out. And I'm comfortable with him, comfortable enough to let him see me at my worst. He loves me through it all.
Wherever you are, whoever you are, I hope you have a love like this in your lifetime. I believe it's out there for everyone. I waited a long time to find it, so if you haven't found it yet, don't give up. You can, and I believe you will.